11-30-2015 HEIDELBERG, GERMANY

11-30-2015 HEIDELBERG, GERMANY

We are actually docked in Speyer and there are two excursions, today.  We opted to travel by bus to Heidelberg which was recommended by some of our seasoned shipmates.

Heidelberg Palace is a massive, majestic structure to behold.  Built of red sandstone beginning in the early 1200s, it has been established as a protected monument and some consider it the “eighth wonder of the world.” 

Wing of Heidelberg Palace

It housed, at various times over its functional life, kings (elected), emperors (selected and crowned by the Pope), queens, knights for offense and defense, a “house of ladies” (chicks trying to get picked up by nobles), a 58,000 gallon cask of wine

Rob atop 58,000 gallon wine cask

and of course servants galore.  At times, the occupation numbered 50-200 persons.  Striking by comparison, down the hill and along the river from the palace, villagers lived in cramped, humble quarters below the towering palace.

View of Heidelberg from the palace

Approaching the palace, you first see “The Love Gate.”  It was constructed with devotion by Ludwig for Elizabeth Stewart as a surprise.  She was to see this gate from the window of her private quarters and know at all times of his adoration.  Ludwig was very proud that he had built this gate in 24 hours.  The problem is that the ornamentation on the front side of gate faced away from Ms. Stewart’s window, so all she saw was the flat, plain back, which apparently just ruined her day.  She ordered that the architect of the gate have his head chopped off.  Bitch.

Back of "Love Gate"

Front of "Love Gate"

Moving along, a bridge crosses the moat.  It was not filled with water but pissed off wild boars.  Of course, there were no toilets or garbage disposals in the palace and so all waste was thrown into the moat as well.  And so the aroma, “eau de moat,” is a sensory delight one can only imagine.  Nevertheless, the inhabitants of the palace thought they were tray sheek.

Aromatic moat

The palace and the village lie at the foot of Heiligenberg Mountain (Holy Mountain) on the banks of the Neckar River.  Over time, the name Heidelberg evolved.  “Berg” means “hill or at the base of a hill” and “burg” means “fortified” as with a fort and a wall surrounding the town.  Heidelberg is now mostly a college town.  They even have a student prison, which probably doubles as a chemistry lecture hall, in my opinion.  Just sayin.’

Some other miscellany I learned today:

The Krauts think Obama is really “nice” and “cool.”  On the other hand, when asked about Merkel they say, “No comment.”  Exactly back-asswards.  Then they said, “We don’t have to go into detail about Bill Clinton.”  They got that part right.

The folks pay up to 8% in tax to belong to a religion and a Church.  If you become a Catholic, say, this tax is deducted from your paycheck whether you like it or not.  If you decide to quit being Catholic, it is nearly impossible.  Change your mind about paying a tax?  I think not.

For lunch today, we had maultaschen.  It looks a bit like large ravioli that they call “pillows.”  Originally, there was one day in a month and many days during Lent that were fast days, i.e. no meat.  So the folks created a mixture of things usually spinach, spices and various ground meats and wrapped this in pastry so nobody would know that they were eating meat.  We call this spiritual dedication.  They must have thought as I do:  “If God had not wanted us to eat animals, He wouldn’t have made them out of meat. (Especially deer.)”

Weihnachtsmarkt Heidelberg

Gluwein at the Heidelberg Christmas Market